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DISCLAIMER: I would like to make it ABSOLUTELY CRYSTAL CLEAR at this point that whilst I wholeheartedly support breastfeeding (and indeed advocate for it) this does not mean that I do not support the right of all Mothers/Parents to make their own infant feeding decision. This article is not intended to shame any woman who does not breast feed.

Jessica Valenti wrote this piece in The Daily recently. I totally agree with her sentiment that mothers shouldn’t be made to feel guilty. Breastfeeding is awesome and leads to much improved health outcomes both long and short term for Mothers and Babies. However, it’s also incredibly hard work and not everyone will be able to access support to breastfeed. Some women,  will have issues that mean they are physically unable to breastfeed. For some women, particularly those with premature babies in NICU’s the act of pumping breast milk can be incredibly stressful, particularly with no baby physically demanding milk to stimulate production. I get that. For these and a whole host of other reasons, which include not being mean, arsey people, we shouldn’t be making any woman feel guilty about how she chooses to feed her baby.

I don’t have a problem with any of that. In fact I salute Valenti for talking honestly and frankly about the fact that breastfeeding is difficult, and requires support which is often lacking, and without that support many women stop breastfeeding which is a why a shockingly low number of women continue to breastfeed following initiation at birth – at 6 months of age in the UK less than 1% o women are still breastfeeding exclusively as per recommendations (Infant Feeding Survey, 2005) and across the world less than 40% of infants are breastfed (WHO Global Strategy).

Yes folks thats right- us evil breastfeeding mamas, the ones who go round, apparently harassing non breastfeeding mamas, make up such a majority that LESS THAN ONE PERCENT OF UK MOTHERS BREASTFEED TO 6 MONTHS.  We aren’t some scary, self righteous majority, we are in fact an underfunded, under represented and socially harassed minority.

Anyway I’m digressing. My issue with Valenti’s piece is this statement :

“Thousands of studies have shown that breastfed babies are healthier on average than formula-fed babies — but no research has shown that it’s the breastfeeding that’s causing the better health. Moms who have the time and support to exclusively breastfeed, for example, may be more likely to support their children’s health in other ways. There simply is no proof that breast milk is the magical elixir so many of us believe it is.

“I never doubted that breastfeeding had myriad health benefits, so I was actually very surprised at what I found in the medical literature,” Wolf told me.

And it’s not just the science around breastfeeding that’s iffy — the social expectations and the dismissal of how hard nursing can be are also affecting women. “

 

I’m sorry, what? You know what, you can formula feed if you want to. You can claim that there are forces out there that shame you as a formula feeding mother. I’d like to argue that actually those same forces are busy shaming ALL mothers for all and any of their choices. But don’t you DARE to tell women and well, anyone reading for that matter, that the science around breastfeeding is iffy. Because really, it isn’t.

There isn’t some conspiracy where formula is secretly equal to breast milk, and nasty mean breastfeeding mamas (who make up less than 40% of the global mama populace) are lying so that poor formula feeding mamas feel bad. Breast milk is, scientifically speaking,  better for babies health by dint of it being custom made to meet the specific needs of the baby it feeds. The reason breastfed babies are generally speaking healthier is because breast milk contains immunological factors specific to each baby which protect it from disease. Breast milk doesn’t require making up with water which may be unsanitary thus exposing babies to gastreointestinal issues. Breast milk doesn’t require careful making up to ensure it is the correct strength, meaning that many babies every year become ill due to simple human error. And breast milk, unlike formula milk is sterile.

That doesn’t mean that people should always HAVE to breastfeed. People should breastfeed if they are in the privileged position of being supported and able to do so, if they want to and that’s that. I don’t care HOW you feed your baby, I care if you’re supported in doing so. I care if you have full access to ACCURATE and valid information which enable you to make your choice. No one should be shamed for parenting decisions- we do the best we can, with what we have at the time, and perhaps with different circumstances we’d make different decisions.

But, for fucks sake, don’t you dare lie about breast milk (or formula milk for that matter) when you are a publicly visible and respected figure. Don’t you dare. Because you’re contributing directly to a culture which shames women and uses shit science to justify shit social attitudes.

*Please see the WHO Report “Global Strategy for Infant and Young Child Feeding” for more details.

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In the spirit of sisterhood and women friendly spaces, some friends and I recently had a women and children only weekend and piled into one house for a night of cooking, chatting, recharging and connecting. Between us we had 4 school age children, one baby, three dogs and a lot of catching up to do. It was brilliant- the power of strong female friendship is something I’m starting to really appreciate as I head towards my thirties. The only dent in the weekend arose on the Sunday morning. The children were watching TV as we sat round drinking tea and trying to come too, and then an advert break came on. There were about 8 adverts in this break which occurred on a national TV channel, during a Sunday morning kids program. The adverts were highly gendered- 4 aimed at girls and 4 at boys. There wasn’t a single advertisement which wasn’t obviously gendered. The adverts didn’t even feature a single child of the opposite gender, if you catch my drift.

So, that was infuriating point number one. Infuriating point number two can be found in the types of products aimed at girls and boys. Aimed at girls were kits to make soap, fridge magnets, a doll and a toy kitchen. Aimed at boys were two types of skateboard/scooter, a gun and a set of armed forces action figures and vehicles. The clearly gendered division of those adverts can be broken down to indicate that girls make things- useful things no less, and care for others; boys do physical activities and engage in strategic and destructive games which train them to engage in ‘manly’ pursuits.

If this is what we’re teaching children with the toys we buy them then really we’ve not come that far in terms of gender equality. Boys can care and make things as nicely as girls, girls can be as physical as girls. To suggest otherwise is to further participate in a mysogynistic culture which harms children of both genders.

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WARNING: This post may be triggering to survivors of rape and/or birth trauma. There are also links within the post which some may find triggering.

I found this post yesterday over on Spilt Milk about how birth trauma and rape culture are linked and I have to say I couldn’t agree with it more. Pregnancy, birth and Motherhood are states in which strangers, medical professionals and well just about everyone, find themselves entitled to question women’s autonomy, to assault women without question and what is more- this assault is socially mandates as acceptable. Pregnant women find themselves met with a barrage of questions from strangers, find total strangers, as well as acquaintances touching and stroking their body without any form of permission. Labouring women find themselves subjected to medical procedures and bodily invasion and assault with out any form of explanation offered or consent required.  Mothers find their parenting choices routinely questioned and opined over in public spaces. These are all examples of the expansion of a culture which views womens bodies and minds as both disposable and in need of guidance and constraint.

There is only one other time where someone can have a medical procedure performed upon them without their personal, informed consent- when an individual is deemed to be unable to understand the consequences of their decision and when a court has mandated that said individual must have decisions made for them.  Women have told me, and my friends and regularly post on the net of the ways in which they have been ignored as they labour. Just this morning I heard the story of a woman who was not asked her consent when a midwife performed an episiotomy. There’s a word for that- ASSAULT.

Whilst there are plenty of situations where medical procedures must be performed quickly during labour and delivery it takes less than 10 seconds to say ” Jane, the baby has X problem and I need to make a cut to help the baby deliver very quickly. Is that OK?”. Checking with independent midwives and NHS midwife friends has also assured me that certainly there is no situation where they as individuals would ever not ask a woman before performing a procedure.

It seems clear to me at least that the arena of motherhood, beginning at pregnancy has so much work that needs doing in it. Let’s make a start by remembering that pregnant women and mothers are people too, and respecting the bodily autonomy of those women. Next time you find yourself about to stroke the bump of a pregnant woman or comment on how heavily pregnant she is, do us all as favour- don’t!

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Shoes, Glorious Shoes!

As regular readers will know I have three children. The youngest is a baby, whom I delight in dressing as gender neutrally as I can manage, which quite often isn’t very gender neutral, because I can’t seem to find gender neutral baby clothes on the high street that aren’t brown. My older two kids have reached an age where gender is something they are exploring- we have a lot of conversations about whether boys can hold hands with other boys (yes, if they want to), can men wear skirts (see previous answer) and can women be doctors (see previous two answers!). The socialisation into a patriarchal society which is administered through the school system has a lot to answer for. Oddly enough, the worst recent example I have of all of this is what happened when I took my children shoe shopping.

Kids go through shoes ridiculously fast. Kid’s shoes are expensive. Experience has taught me that the amount of money I spend  makes no difference to how quickly my kids manage to put holes in their shoes, so I long ago gave up buying Clarks shoes, unless they are on sale. This time shoe shopping however, it wasn’t the prices that concerend me. It was the HIGH HEELS.

My daughter is 7. Like many of her peers she loves things that are a sickly shade of pink, and Girls Aloud. She thinks Hello Kitty is the best thing ever, and Hannah Montana is cool. I’m not fond of any of the above, but I can generally manage to tread that delicate line between making sure she isn’t totally socially ostracised and explaining to her why maybe aspiring to  be a pop star isn’t such a good plan. Walking into the shoe shop and being confronted with pink, sequined high heels in a children’s size 2 (they were also in smaller sizes) was a bit much.

If it had just been that one pair of shoes that would also have been ok- you can justify that as a ridiculous marketing ploy, or dress up shoes, or something. But no. There was in fact an entire range of high heeled shoes aimed at children my daughters age. Which were all also available in smaller sizes. This included school shoes.

I’m gob smacked and seething. This pornification of our kids has got to stop. Regardless of the immense social damage that dressing little girls in high heels and “Future WAG” t shirts causes, what about the damage to their bodies? We know, that high heels are damaging, and any heel over 2 cm increases the risk of twisted ankles, ligament damage and back problems. Why would you do that to your child?

There’s another aspect to this- if little girls are wearing high heels, they won’t be running around playing tag and football and more physical games. Instantly high heels restrict the games girls can play and the activities they can engage in and further hardens the gender barrier in the playground.  I’d like to ask everyone, parent or no, to write to any shoe shop asking them to not stock high heeled shoes fo children, on the grounds that they are misogynist, damaging to health and lead to the increased sexualisation of children. Maybe we can use consumer power to help end this hideous practice!

The oh so sexy cancer?

The oh so fabulous Laurie Penny of Penny Red fame is now blogging over at New Statesman and has written a fabulous piece about Breast Cancer Awareness. It’s somewhat serendipitous because I was planning on writing something very similar following an argument on my Facebook after I busted apart the stupidity of the irritating ” I like it on the..” Facebook status meme, which according to an old school friend is a “fun, flirty way to raise breast cancer awareness and wind up the boys”!

I’m sorry did I just fall into a bizzare alternate dimension? Last time I checked breast cancer is a life threatening and serious disease which according to Cancer Research UK kills around 12,000 women a year in the UK. It also kills around 70 men a year, and current figures indicate that approximately 1 in 9 women will develop breast cancer in their lifetime .

Breast Cancer isn’t sexy or flirty or pink. We shouldn’t be raising awareness by using stupid cryptic social networking messages thinly disguised as innuendo. Breast Cancer kills people. It maims them. It puts individuals through therapies and surgeries which are physically and mentally draining and grueling. It puts strain on families and kinship networks. Breast cancer is the most common female cancer in the UK, and causes the highest number of cancer related deaths after lung cancer. It isn’t a joke.

Here’s how to raise awareness of breast cancer. Talk. Talk to your friends, and your sisters, and mothers and daughters. Talk to your male friends and brothers and partners and fathers. They need to know too, because they too can get breast cancer and they too will be deeply affected if someone in their life is diagnosed with breast cancer. Check your breasts monthly and go to the doctor as soon as you find a change.

And finally, I refer to this heartbreaking letter published in Salon, from a woman named Sally who has Breast Cancer. Do as she says people and stop playing stupid, insulting games while she dies.

The wonderful Anji of “Shut Up, Sit Down” has a brilliant new piece up over on The F Word titled “Why cis attendees of RTN are letting trans women down”. For those of you unfamiliar with the argument, every year London Feminist Network host a Reclaim The Night March, protesting Violence against Women (VW). I’ve been once in 2008, and found it an uplifting experience but one which also left me somewhat uncomfortable after hostility between LFN and members of a Sex Workers Rights group arose.  I’ve also noticed that every year multiple feminist groups call upon LFN to explicitly state that trans women are welcome on the march, and every year LFN fail to state this. It’s a horrific example of transphobia, which I don’t think can or should be ignored any longer. Anji explains why LFN need to be explicit in their welcoming of trans women, and I would urge all feminists, cis or trans, to call on LFN to be explicit in their stataements regarding who is and isn’[t welcome to march with them. I would even go so far as to urge feminists to boycott the London March this year- many cities have RTN marches which welcome all self identifying women- Oxford has one on October 22nd – and so in order to put an end to the hideous transphobia routinely perpetrated by LFN, go to one of the smaller marches. That might seem a bit extreme but we aren’t good feminists or allies if we ignore, and are complicit in the abuse of our trans sisters.

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Here are (belated) introductions from Melaszka and Dorri!!

Melaszka is 41, based in the West Country and has identified as a feminist since the age of fourteen. She currently cares full-time for elderly parents, but has previously worked in education and the arts.

Dorri has been many things in her life so far; English, foreign, able-bodied, feminist, worker, disabled, student, activist, partner, and born-again singleton.
She attended her first peace protest on 1st April 1983 at the age of 10, a few years later she succeeded, although very briefly, in trespassing on RAF Greenham; that was the beginning of her life as a feminist.
When she was 18, just before he was planning to go to university she became ill. It was a very unremarkable event but it changed her life entirely. The illness quickly worsened and within weeks a single step defeated her. It took years but eventually she got to university but it was a very different experience as a disabled woman, despite this she has gone on post-graduate studies.
Today her passions included Taijiquan, disability rights, feminism, psychotherapy, writing, LARP, and the rather handsome cat with whom she shares her home.

I’m excessively pleased to welcome them both to the blog and they really are doing a sterling job so far!!

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More Blog News!

It’s an exciting time here at FemAcadem. We’re very excited to announce that alongside new guest blogger Louise, two permanent bloggers have just joined the team- Melazka and Dorrie. We’re really excited to welcome them both and I for one am just so pleased they’ve agreed to join. We are hoping that now between the 5 of us we will be able to bring you at least one blog post a day, alongside extra commentary on news and so on.

I’ll be posting more formal introductions up to Melazka and Dorrie tonight but for now please wlecome them, and enjoy the first posts from them!

Blog News and Guest Bloggers

Right, after some technical issues, and some personal issues, I’m pleased to announce the FemAcadem team is getting back into the saddle! We are quite busy here at FA HQ- Andie and I are now in the Third Year of our degree’s and so we’re worrying about dissertations and post grad places and so on, Lovely Admin and myself are having a baby and getting married and so it’s all go.

We are however pleased to announce that tonight we attended the inaguaral meeting of Oxford Feminist Network, and it looks like some really exciting Feminist Action will be kicking off soon, in and around Oxford. If you want to get involved then do please look us up on Facebook or Yahoo (or indeed both) and please feel free to come along to the next meeting which is the 27th January 2010 at 6.30pm at Ruskin College, Walton Street. This is an open meeting, and all feminist minded people are welcome, including trans people.

We’re also positively thrilled to be welcoming a Guest Blogger in the shape of the lovely and talented Louise Livesey. She’ll be joining us for a while, and as those of you who have come across her in the Blogsphere will know, she blogs superbly about just about everything! So do all make her feel really welcome.

As ever, we’re always on the look out for new bloggers, and guest bloggers, so if you’re interested in filling either of those roles or if you see something you particularly want blogged about drop us a line at suzi@femacadem.net

So tonight after reading some stuff posted on a friends Facebook wall, I went and had a look at  a Poll on Breastfeeding. The questions asks ‘Do you think women should be forced to cover up when breastfeeding in public?’. I’m was somewhat pleased to see that of eveyone who had answered the poll, 56% said no.  However, what really troubled me was a) the fact that this is even a question that needs asking at all and b) the comments section which was full of glorious examples of mysogyny such as men telling women that breastfeeding in public without covering up was ‘indecent exposure’.

So let’s deal with point a) first- the fact this question even needed to be asked. I’m against the use of the word ‘forced’ in the question. No woman should be ‘forced’ to do anything, especially not when feeding her child. Let’s all just take a moment here to remember that breasts, contrary to popular myth, exist so that women can breastfeed. It is in fact, the primary function of the mammary gland to produce milk in order to nourish infants. I suspect that the reason this question gets asked is because in our modern, western, over sexualised culture we seem to have completely forgotten that  breasts are not sexual objects designed to titillate and pleasure men.

Moving onto point b)- the misogyny in a lot of the comments. There were of course several comments from people pointing out the sheer ridiculousness of expecting Mothers to feed their babies in toilets or  under blankets etc – when Michael Jackson stuck his kids heads under blankets in public we called it child abuse. How  is it suddenly okay when the parent is a Mother who is FEEDING her child? There were several comments from people asking what all the fuss was about, when breastfeeding is a perfectly natural thing. And then there were the comments where people argued that urination is natural, but that doesn’t mean they do it in the street. Here’s the thing- babies need feeding. Babies, when not fed become quite upset. I am fairly certain, the same people who call ‘disgusting’ upon seeing the tiniest hint of flesh in a breastfeeding mother, are the same people who ‘tut’ and mutter ‘ can’t they shut that child up? shocking’ under their breath when confronted with a Mother who is attempting to soothe her hungry child when she is too anxious to feed in public because of people’s reaction.

Also- how do these people think women breastfeed? Having breastfed one baby, bottlefed another (for long and complex reasons),  and in about 6 months time I’ll be breastfeeding a third, I’m desperately trying to work out how on earth anyone is ‘exposing’ themselves enough to warrant being stared at by people in public. It’s not as if one flops one’s breasts onto a table while the child uses a straw or something! Breastfeeding requires a baby to be latched on so closely to the breast in order to suck, that unless you’re feeding over a vest top or topless it’s nigh on impossible to see any flesh. Ifyour an inexperienced breastfeeder, who’s just getting into her routine, then yes you might ‘expose’ a bit of flesh whilst latching on, but seriously ‘indecent exposure’? That’s a bit much really.

It seems to me that there are many things tied up in this question and the attotudes the poll has revealed. Primarily there’s an issue about women and their use of public spaces- these people feel women should not feel comfortable or able to use public spaces to feed their children and that their behaviour and autonomy should be censured for ‘moral’ reasons. Those moral reasons rest on notions of womens bodies and body parts as sexual objects designed to bring pleasure to men, but not to carry out their primary function- that of feeding babies. Then their an issue about ‘forcing’ women to comply with a ‘rule’ which is based on fallacious arguments and a dominant male based oppressive power structure.

I’m not that fussed about how or where women choose to feed their babies. Breastfeeding from many points of view is prefferable to bottlefeeding,  but  for many women it isn’t a practical, medical or cultural option, and  either way it shouldn’t matter. We need to support women and their partners and families to be comfortable with their feeding choices- this means access to breastfeeding cafes, and clinics and lactation consultants. This means access to peer supporters, and proper, accurate information about both breast and bottle feeding.  This means being able to feed your baby in public in any way you damn please without fear of censure or disapproval or abuse.

And it means that as onlookers, as other humans using a public space, we do not judge. We do not comment, becuase whether supportive or not, we are intruding. We do not ‘tut’ or mutter ‘shocking’. We recognize that what we see is not indecent exposure, or bad parenting or shamelessness or a woman flaunting herself. What we see is a child being given it’s meal by it’s caregiver, and that is a perfectly normal, perfectly natural thing.

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