The lucky winner is indeed the very model of hetro-normative western loveliness.  She’s married, she’s a mother, and she works full time (but only during school hours) … but more importantly in this age of image obsessed culture, she’s blonde, she’s skinny and look at that big smile!  Will anyone who sees the advertising campaign she stars in seriously think “they look good on her… I must have them!” or are they going to think “She’s my age but look at her figure I must lose weight, I have to have those jeans!”.

In today’s image obsessed society, both women and men are increasingly being bombarded with “what you must buy look like”  images telling them how to be identified as a worthy citizen. “Don’t like what you see in the mirror? Choose the calorie counted diet meals. Choose to undergo unnecessary surgery in order to correct your face. Choose to buy that must-have pair of jeans and sod the bill. Choose advertising industry images to be your example. Choose Life….”  I say choose something else…individuality.

Standing up to a ‘minor’ sexual assault.

Picture the scene:  you’re a woman who is gaining confidence in who she is and what she does. Upon entering Higher Education (something you never ever thought you had the brains for) you find yourself looking at the top spot on the student union and thinking to yourself  ‘I can do that’ . You run for office, you succeed. The college administration has respect for you because you unearth diplomatic skills you never thought you had, students like you because everything gets sorted and at the top of your ‘to do list’  is student welfare, every single time.

You help to organise the end of year  ball, and  you dress up-  not in a posh frock, but in a ringmaster’s costume (because some wag said the student union was a circus). You turn up to the ball,  and naturally people want to talk to you and take photos because you are one of the few that has turned up donning fancy dress. You have a couple of drinks and go outside for a cigarette.

Its dark outside but that doesn’t matter this place is familiar to you, it is safe. Suddenly you feel someone place their hand on your arse and stroke right across the cheek. You turn around to see someone you barely know, another student. You tell them to ‘fuck off’ . The person towers over your five foot six small frame by at least a six inches. You figure the verbal warning was enough but the person takes it as a challenge and proceeds to do it again. Again you tell them to ‘fuck off’!  The person explains that you must be ‘up for it’, otherwise why would you be talking and joking with every one?  Why would you be in fancy dress?

You don`t move from your position because it’s the only way you can show you won’t be cowed. It happens again, then a male friend comes around the corner and the person runs off. You try and shake it off , after all, you’ve worked in bars for years and put up with all sorts of sexist shit, but this time it feels different-  the experience was threatening.

You shrug it off and drink some more and get back to the ball but you find yourself unwittingly clinging to your male friend. You find yourself talking to your male friend outside and then suddenly the perpetrator comes walking past you and  addresses your friend saying that you’re a ’slag’ and asking  ‘what are you doing with THAT mate?’  Next thing you know you’re cleaning blood off someone who has tried to help the perpetrator,  after he decided to put his head through a glass door.

You wake up in the morning and realise the danger that could have occurred!  How can the behavior of this individual go unpunished? He`s clearly a danger to women and to himself what do you do? Your best friend advises you to call the police and register a complaint; you were touched without consent in a sexual manner and also verbally abused.

The next day you are visited by a lone male police officer, you give your statement and hand over clothes for DNA analysis. You feel foolish, like you’re making a mountain out of a molehill, after all you’re thirty something tough cookie, you put it to the back of your mind and get on with things.

You explain what happened to your boyfriend, he`s sorry that it happened, it wouldn’t have happened if he was there, then if not me who would it of happened to? Would they have handled it the same way as me, what if my friend hadn’t walked around the corner , what if I was by myself when the verbal assault happened? No-one would have seen, they were all inside. Had he done this before ? Why didn’t I move? What if?  What if?

You go to the shops you start to see tall skinny men just like him, is it him? Your heart quickens and you freeze- what do you do if it is him? You walk through the park, see tall skinny men, is that him? What do I do?

You examine in detail what you are wearing, you dress down more than usual, a bit less make up, looser jeans. But then you look in the mirror and you realise it’s stupid- it’s not about what you wear.  In fact it’s not about you at all. It’s about him.  It’s not about sex it’s about power. He didn’t get what he wanted and he put his own head through a glass door.  This guy has serious problems but that’s not my concern. I want to stop being scared of what ifs .

I talk about it with close friends,  and the more I talk about it, the more I get angry, the more I want to get some people to go after him and kick the shit out of him. The rational part of me says it won’t solve anything. But what will happen? Will the police take it seriously? The P.C informs me that he believes me and he is reporting to a sexual assault ‘Tzar’ in the Thames Valley Police.  Why does a PC need to tell me that he believes me?  I’m smart, I’m in a position of trust, I don’t normally display intense emotional responses with complete strangers. I said I was willingly to take it to court without having certain protections such as a video link, instead of appearing in court in person. I know I’m right to report this I’ve never called the police in my life but I know deep down this individual has to stop and examine what he’s doing and what he thinks is normal behavior to females.

I go and report this to the principal ,she’s behind me one hundred percent as are two of my tutors , I find a different response with the third tutor who implies that I’m aggressive.  Aggressive how? Ok, I’m forceful but that’s my personality and anyway isn’t that a cop-out? Aggressive personalities don’t deserve to be sexually assualted anymore than anyone else. Examining my personality, this tutor knew me and knew that deep down I wouldn’t have taken such steps if I thought it was just a bit of `party banter’.

I go to the women’s officer, a Marxist feminist, and explain the situation and how I’m feeling. I was seeking support in bringing the case to the college authorities- I know he’s done this to other women on campus who for their own reasons won’[t speak up. The next thing I know its all about him according to our ‘Feminist’Womens Officer ‘well he is from a council estate you know’.  Erm…well so am I and believe me most males from a council estate would never act like that. Yeah I know he`s got problems but does that make it ok to act out in a sexually aggressive manner? A male friend of mine commented that every pat on the back side from a male to a female has two thousand years of patriarchy behind it. Well I never think that deeply I just thought the situation was bang out of order.

The P.C rang me up ‘we nicked him’.  Great.  Now what?  When questioned (after a night in the cells) he claimed that  ‘it was that sort of night…it was banter..I thought she’d be ok with it’. He claimed the time between taking photos and chatting was immediately prior to the assault. In short his word against mine, and therefore the CPS won`t take it up. ‘Well at least he got a night in the cells, that’s not very nice’ said the PC. No mate, but neither was the self evaluation, the anger, the fear and the retrospection. The feeling that no matter how much I gain confidence there’s always a patriarchal pat on the backside that can make me question my personality, my appearance and what  makes up my identity.

Pursuing my interest in the doctrine (or non doctrine) of anarchy, particularly the action, or non action of  forum use and the ‘feeling’ that being, in these anarchist forums is to them, a space of free thinking (or, to use Hakims Beys definition, a ‘ temporary autonomous zone‘)  I started a thread on an online anarchist community. So far so good. In a second year of degree act of stupidity I made too good an argument, leading to a situation where the forum users just blankly agreed with me.

Thing is, I used an androgynous handle (name) so I decided to stir things up a little and reveal explicitly that I was female-  can you guess what happened dear reader? Yep, the thread wasn’t pulled, but, my explicit reply was!  I  e-mailed the sites administrator to ask why my reply was pulled and  he replied that my mentioning radical womens squats ‘marginalised’  a lot of the forum users!  I’m sorry I forgot there are no female anarchists! My topic was valid and a useful talking point, oh, pat on the head for me then for being clever, erm WTF?

I’hm not immune to the notion that there is inerrant sexism in the world and on the net ,I just thought that there may be a little less sexism  on the net.  The net is a place of deception as well as a place of truth telling and yes you could argue that my handle gave no clue to my gender, but should it matter  on an anarchist website? In an anarchist utopia we are all equal and not subjected to the mindless actions of blokes in balaclavas smashing up shop windows and ‘us’ women keeping the collective home fires burning. We are elders as we always (and have been ignored for many a generation and governmental policy) have been within the collective, just as men pass on their wisdom, so do women.

I know I may sound naive but I really feel that this is 2009, I’m a working class, single parent woman and I am  free to be educated, select partners etc, however, I have to also acknowledge that  I’m blonde ,’skinny’, white with technological advantage.  I have to acknowledge this privileged in off-line life , but do I have to on-line? Why, if the Internet is a virtual space where everyone is supposedly equal am I bombarded with adverts for pink computers, dating sites and online bingo halls? Its time to campaign against on-line sexism as well as offline sexism.

I watched the last episode of Pulling. It was ok at times its quite sexist towards men. However,  hey how many times to you see a BBC programme where the women get the funny lines?

I`m reading ‘The Dispossessed’  by Ursula K.Le Guin. Anyone else read it? I’ll do a review in a few weeks time.

After being ignored for a good ten minutes I decided to go over to one of the salesmen (who wasn’t with a customer) and say “I want to buy a laptop ,this model in fact’”.   I didn’t even get mid sentence as the salesman said ‘I’m just with a customer’ . “What what the hell am I ?”  I said . Obviously some kind of penniless ghost given the lack of service .
I went into an electronics shop (the geeky computer hobby kind of shop) to get a refund on an item that I’d mistakenly bought.  The (by now) inevitable wait to be recognized as a paying customer was remarkably quick as I’d learned that standing at the sales counter just wasn’t going to work, so I looked for the manager. I explained to the manager that I wanted a refund, I needed the next model up and explained (as it was a geeky tech shop) exactly what I did need and what I planned to do with it. The transformation in service was instantaneous; the manger summoned one of the sales staff to get the stuff I needed, transaction done big smiles all around.
Like I said you’ve probably had these kinds of experiences . I could put the first example down to be dressed like a scruffy student, but we were all dressed like scruffy students.
I could put the second experience down to being short with a chameleon like ability to blend into the background, except that, even with wishing to having the chameleon like superpower at times, I don’t.

I could put the third experience down to being an informed consumer who the staff was happy to interact with, except that I had to take steps before I could prove I was a ‘worthy’ customer.
All three experiences were, in my opinion,  down to gender socialised roles.  Men always pay and women don’t know anything about computers . I don’t get that sort of treatment on-line , I know there, that I’m an anonymous consumer and the only time the website requests my gender is to market the ‘pink’  products in their store,  so I avoid it .The only trouble is (call me old fashioned) I actually like to go to the shop, have a good look at the product and compare before I buy. Why should I have to be conscious of my gender when going into a shop and receive inconsistent degrees of service ?

Has Jade Goody done for cervical cancer what Kylie Minogue did for breast cancer? The signs look good-  an average figure for more women going for smear tests is 40%,  so the short life of Goody was not in vain. What is never discussed in the media is one of the real reasons behind why women don’t go for smear tests. Women have that discussion- its embarrasing , sometimes it hurts, you worry about what the doctor or nurse thinks about your pubic hair, does your vagina look ‘normal’? Does it have a funny smell?

Ultimately its the invasision of privacy-  knickers off , lie on the bed and open your legs to ,sometimes, a complete stranger, and then have a cold instrument inserted in order to take a sample of cells. Ok prevention is better than a cure and early detection is crucial, but in these days of stem cell research , the mode of injecting medicine through the pores rather than injection and keyhole hysterectomies is there any possibility of a non invasive way of detecting cervical cancer?

“Hmm, what can I get my partner for their birthday?  Oh!  I know-  sex everyday for the next year !” When sex is gift wrapped, it is implied that it is paid for, made attractive and, ultimately,  only for the enjoyment of the recipient. Any comparisons between prostitution and the gift of sex is obvious. We all know that sex is important, but it is in fact,  a physical and emotional exchange between consenting adults and not something on a ‘to do’  list.

We all lead busy lives- there’s work , mundane day to day stuff to do and so on.  Should sex be seen as a item on a list to tick off ? I say no. On hearing experinces of couples trying to concieve they often say having sex to order, made sex just an act, a means to an end. Men and women often say they’d like more sex,  but is it because that is what the media portrays to us ?  If we aren’t having great sex and lots of it we are obvious inadequate and unattractive.  Is this why this woman decided to give her husband the gift of sex?

So if  people power prevails  in the sense that consumers refuse to be told what to buy in order to get technical support, is this story about the demise of Microsoft from a near future perspective a real possibility?

French power company takes on the pesky folk at Greenpeace, proving that ‘ hacktivism’ can be used for evil as well as good.In these times of protest and technology are the hackers for hire really without the basic ethics? Or are the security forces fighting firewall with firewall?

We’ve heard of the soccer moms and the supermoms,  now meet the eco-moms! Make your own washing powder and unplug that washing machine when not in use Ladies! I applaud the sentiments behind this movement but is it just another fashionable fad for the all american mom?

At first we can clearly see that it is taken at a protest . You, dear reader, may have even been there. You may even be one of the individuals in the photo. Even if you are not, in another time and place, it could be you. Your fellow protesters all around you clashing and being penned in by the police, you look forward and a police officer grabs you by the throat in order to restrain you! What have you done ? Exercised your civil and human right to protest? Or, have you identified yourself as a threat to national security, because you have chosen to exercise that precise right?

The image  speaks volumes to me about civil liberties, feminism and class struggle. It conveys to me that there are individuals that will come together in order to stand up for a cause. It also tells me that no matter how big the group is, how just the cause is, the authorities (or oppressors) will always be there to grab the idealists by the neck in order to suppress them. That said it doesn’t make me want to give up protesting , blogging , and airing my views. It makes me feel mad that protests have to be approved by the authorities, and that the same authorities, then use illegal and unjustifiable actions in the form of “kettling” and violence in order to restrain the very protest they approved.

According to Noam Chomsky, “power is illegitimate unless proof of legitimacy can be found”. In the case of the photo, the police are an institution of the state. That fact gives this institution the right to  police citizens of the state legitimately, but how far should the police be able to go in enforcing the laws of the land?  When did violence and the containment of citizens exercising their legitimate rights,   become acceptable actions the state could take against its own citizens? Pictures like this make clear that the authorities should always be questioned and observed, just as much as the authorities question and observe us.

This is my life changing photo , whats yours?

To be honest , at first, I thought the headline `Lesbian banned from X-box live!` was a headline straight out of  The Sun in the `Freddie Starr ate my hamster` mould. It was absolutely ridiculous and laughed until I checked  out the whole article. I started to think about the last x-box game I completed (Fable II ), its a role playing game with fighting,magic and relies on interpersonal responses with the game virtual characters in order to fully assess renown.

Did it matter if I was a male or female character? A main unlock achievement in the game is to get married and was it a problem if I chose a member of the same sex? No .So sexuality equality is creeping into some games these days ,so why does it matter if you express your sexuality or just simply experiment? Its the old chestnut `just think about the children!` panic , in other terms ‘I don’t want to explain why some people have different sexualities , it makes me uncomfortable’.

That comment pointed to me over to the furor over a disabled woman presenting kids TV. A women with one able arm is presenting toddler t.v . So what?  most of the rational thinking population may think,but no, during a Radio 2 talk show a listener rang in and complained that this woman would give his kids nightmares. Well Mr phone man ,my kids are 3 and 4 and they didn’t bat an eyelid or comment on it!

Back to the game…upon completing the game I was shown the credits.  How many female programmers were credited? Two ,that’s right two. Out of thirty five! WTF! Why is that I thought to myself? Maybe I’m being naive here but I thought we lived in 2009 , and that technology and jobs within the tech industry were  about merit and not about gender. I’m wrong according to the excellent article over on The F-word. Sexism is rife in the I.T industry , apparently us ‘girls’ should stick to low paying call center jobs and making the tea at gaming studios.

I have now made a conscious decision to learn programming , I’m kind of into finding out what my p.c can do and regular readers know that I’m an advocate of open source software, and I like messing around with Linux operating system.

I used to work in pubs , I know that most men are socialized in a sexist manner but I thought that on-line we as women could be what we wanted to be , be it androgynous, lesbian, bisexual or a spider plankton from Mars. Who cares as long as you find  liberty and kinship which under pins the whole ethic of the World Wide Web or even the supposed male dominated Hacker world :-

“Hackers should be judged by their hacking , not bogus criteria such as degrees,age,race or position”.(Levy,S.Hackers(1994)Penguin.New York.

Latest black hat traps on facebook and twitter.

The Beeb and the digital roll out.

Medieval nerd girls?  Why the distinction between boy and girl nerds?