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Browsing the net tonight I found two articles that caught my eye , over on Feministing ,about a lesbian being chased off and effectively banned from x-box live and the other over on the F-word about female I.T workers quitting their jobs because of the industry’s sexism.

To be honest , at first, I thought the headline `Lesbian banned from X-box live!` was a headline straight out of  The Sun in the `Freddie Starr ate my hamster` mould. It was absolutely ridiculous and laughed until I checked  out the whole article. I started to think about the last x-box game I completed (Fable II ), its a role playing game with fighting,magic and relies on interpersonal responses with the game virtual characters in order to fully assess renown.

Did it matter if I was a male or female character? A main unlock achievement in the game is to get married and was it a problem if I chose a member of the same sex? No .So sexuality equality is creeping into some games these days ,so why does it matter if you express your sexuality or just simply experiment? Its the old chestnut `just think about the children!` panic , in other terms ‘I don’t want to explain why some people have different sexualities , it makes me uncomfortable’.

That comment pointed to me over to the furor over a disabled woman presenting kids TV. A women with one able arm is presenting toddler t.v . So what?  most of the rational thinking population may think,but no, during a Radio 2 talk show a listener rang in and complained that this woman would give his kids nightmares. Well Mr phone man ,my kids are 3 and 4 and they didn’t bat an eyelid or comment on it!

Back to the game…upon completing the game I was shown the credits.  How many female programmers were credited? Two ,that’s right two. Out of thirty five! WTF! Why is that I thought to myself? Maybe I’m being naive here but I thought we lived in 2009 , and that technology and jobs within the tech industry were  about merit and not about gender. I’m wrong according to the excellent article over on The F-word. Sexism is rife in the I.T industry , apparently us ‘girls’ should stick to low paying call center jobs and making the tea at gaming studios.

I have now made a conscious decision to learn programming , I’m kind of into finding out what my p.c can do and regular readers know that I’m an advocate of open source software, and I like messing around with Linux operating system.

I used to work in pubs , I know that most men are socialized in a sexist manner but I thought that on-line we as women could be what we wanted to be , be it androgynous, lesbian, bisexual or a spider plankton from Mars. Who cares as long as you find  liberty and kinship which under pins the whole ethic of the World Wide Web or even the supposed male dominated Hacker world :-

“Hackers should be judged by their hacking , not bogus criteria such as degrees,age,race or position”.(Levy,S.Hackers(1994)Penguin.New York.

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No words

Louise highlights this story at the F Word, regarding what happened to a 15 year old girl, who was found to be an Escort.

Has the Agency been prosecuted? Has the girl recieved counselling for rape? Nope. She’s had her ‘immoral earnings’ removed and no has bothered to find out why a 15 year old girl was engaging in sex work.

I’m disgusted. Is there anything we can do? I’d like to write a strongly worded letter to both my MP and the Police force involved, condemning their inaction at investigating the multiple rapes of a child, and the pimping of a child by an Escort Agency. Does anyone think this will help?

So, in a repetition of last year I have injured my knee and am on bed rest for at least the next week. Luckily this year, I did it the day AFTER Million Women Rise, and so now there are various photos of me on  the Internet carrying the London 3rd Wave Banner.

More embarrassingly there is video footage of me attempting to lead some chanting and talking to the very fabulous and talented Laura of shemakeswar about why marches matter.The video is one Laura made of the whole march and why it’s so important to marc h and maintain a visible presence,  and also features Finn Mackay of London Feminist Network and Jess McCabe of  The F Word

So here is the video.  And very good it is too! More reports of MWR, along with the FemAcadem photos will follow.

Million Women Rise 2009 by warriorgrrrl

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Oh the stupidity

So, somewhat predictable some idiot has gone and blamed the recession on women. Seeing as reading the article itself has caused my brain to actually explode due to a) The sheer, unadulterated misogyny of it, and b) The total lack of any grasp of economics the afore mentioned idiot has, I’m not going to try and deconstruct it.

I’m just going to reccomend you go and read Louise at The F Word quite thouroughly demolishing his argument. And then I reccomend you join me and the FemAcadem team at Million Women Rise on March 7th and help ensure idiots like the above don’t get to spread their hatred to far. Opinions like that, help a culture where violence against women is acceptable, and Million Women Rise gives women and their allies a chance to have their say in a public space.

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As I feel it’s necessary to claw my way out of the academic/geek cocoon I seem to have weaved around myself,  from time to time I venture into the world of the mass media. Since starting my degree I found that I hardly watch T.V (I don’t think Cbeebies counts) and I never buy ‘womens’ magazines. It wasn’t due to studying commitments, it was due to the repetition-  this is how you should look/dress/feel/D.N.A tests/cook/parent your child and what you should aspire to be (apparently the aspiration is happiness,which obviously can’t be achieved without at least four of the afore mentioned).  It never really occurred to me that these t.v programmes and magazines were actually reinforcing gender and class stereotypes, I just thought they were just thought they were crap.

For some unknown reason I bought ‘That’s life!’  magazine, maybe because of the sensationalist headline “Mum sold me for a bottle of Gin!”, but mostly because that’s the sort of magazine that were knocking around my Grans house when I was growing up. For 78p I had fifteen minutes of other peoples lives, saw photos of cute kids dressed up, read how daft ‘Men’ are, fashion on a budget, health/relationship problem pages and survival stories. What I took from the magazine was that maybe this cut-price magazine and the others of its ilk, are  a space for working class women to express their lives. OK they were paid for their stories and the stories were polished up by proof readers,but the kernel of the stories were issues affecting women.

During a particularly boring lecture  I asked Suzi what she thought of these particular magazines and  the conversation went like this:

(A) ” Do working class women’s magazines such as ‘That’s Life!’ empower or keep working class women in their place?”

(S) “They keep them in their place. Also the mags reinforce dominant social discourse- weight loss, cookery and cosmetic surgery”.

(A)” On balance though,do you think these magazines are better than , Marie Claire, Grazia and the like?”.

(S) ” All the women’s magazines are exactly the same just aimed at different classes of women, however, Marie Claire magazine runs many feminist stories . All in all the women’s mag market is generally designed to re-inforce gendered roles and dominant discourse”.

I decided to buy Marie Claire (for the first time) and see for myself . For the sum of £3.30 and a reassuring glossy heavy magazine with non-descript headliners ‘Perfect trousers to suit your shape’. Seven adverts for the top end fashion and cosmetic industry and then onto the contents page, more adverts, editors blurb, rundown of contributors and then at last first articles which were the letters page. More adverts then an article by Katherine Fleet (ala The Observer). I’ll confess now, I do read The Observer but tend not to read the columns about ‘nothing’ . Fleets piece was entitled ‘Superwoman:who needs her?` Who indeed I thought to myself.

More adverts , fashion news, eco news, adverts, fashion news, adverts, Celeb interview more adverts, wheres the feminism? I think to myself.

An article on women sex professionals was sort of on the right track,women’s attitude to drinking,child bride divorce in Afghanistan (why wasn`t this the front cover?) and then the life changing experience story or as I like to call it the  ‘I went to a poor country and talked to poor hungry black children and now I realise how lucky I am, my life is going to change for the better,hurray!’ story.

So , like ‘That’s Life’ the kernel was there, but for me there was more sharing of female stories in ‘That’s life!’. The survival of domestic violence, birth stories , rape, betrayal, consumer rights. But hold up, I thought to myself, aren’t these stories used for fodder on shows such as Jeremy Kyle,Trisha and like? Women and men being paid to tell their story on national t.v, shows such as This Morning dispensing consumer advice and how to make the most of yourself cosmetically wise.

Where is the Marie Claire T.V crossover? It’s with programmes like Ten years younger, Come Dine with me and Location, Location, Location. OK its easy to see the class differences even if you just took at look at the advertising in both magazines, when you look at the barriers of price and style of magazine it brazenly states that the working class are cheap, throw away and a bit tatty, whilst the middle classes are aesthetically pleasing, substantial and seemingly valuable.

Whats does this tell me about feminism in the mass printed media? Everyday survival stories of the working class woman is a readily available commodity, because lets face it ,whatever the world throws at the working class woman she can handle it as long as she can get a few quid for the retelling of said horrid event. Pretty clothes, cosmetics and lifestyle aspirations , ohh! and with the odd ‘lets find oppressed women /girls abroad’  stories to show us how good our lives really are,  are the fodder of Marie Claire.

These magazines have sat on the newsagents shelves for nearly fifty years now.  Have you ever noticed that you never see Marie Claire magazine on the same shelf as That’s Life? If we live in a meritocracy why isn’t the mass media portraying the fact,  instead of keeping us all in our boxes?

I love to end this article with a statement about what I’d put in a magazine if I had the chance, but I don’t have a clue. I can’t believe in either magazine though. One tells me how I should look , what clothes I should buy and that I’ll just never find shoes fabulous enough, punctuated by adverts from luxury brands (which I find contradictory to the post materialistic statements of the sustainability of the making of the magazine). The other tells me that shit happens, the adverts tell me that the government is watching and that I need to be reminded not to feed my kids whisky and deep fried mars-bars and that post-materialism is just a posh word for sharing money saving tips.

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The Bondage Argument

The Blogsphere is ringing this week with the sound of debating feminists/ pro feminists/other women identifying  peoples discussing BDSM and the agency and roles of women within BDSM sexual relationships.  I’m not going to link to the debates because a) I’m exhausted after attending double lectures and a talk on socialist feminism and b) I really don’t want to take a side in the existing debate, especially not at 10.30 at night, when I’m exhausted.

Mostly I just want a chance to open up a debate about Teh Kinky Sexzors without piggy backing off of someone else’s.

My opinions about sex pretty much run too – if it’s consenting, non- coerced, and involves people doing whatever they want to do to get each other off, providing no children, animals, dead people or unwilling participants etc involved, then people should do what they like. Essentially- do what you want with who you want providing there’s consent, sense, and equality in the room.

I can see, however, how and why there is a debate about how or not BDSM does or doesn’t hold up Patriarchy and existing, dominant ideas about sexuality, women’s sexuality and the kinds of sex we should all be having.

What disturbs me about some of these debates is, the perceived removal of women’s agency. One of the argument I’ve heard is that women don’t involve themselves in BDSM based sexual encounters because they really want too, they do it because patriarchy, porn, dominant cultural narratives and their (male) partners tell them they should.

This kind of thinking, in my opinion,  removes the agency of women who ARE engaging in BDSM because they want too, because they get off on it and so do their partners. I’m not for a second about to naively suggest that no woman has ever been co-erced into abusive situations involving BDSM- but I would argue that it they are co-erced then it’s not sex it’s rape, and that is a different ball game all together.

From the BDSM communities I’ve known of, safety and consent have been two of the most holy, cardinal rules ever. You don’t do a damn thing, if they or you aren’t fully aware and consenting. You don’t do a damn thing if they or you do not feel totally safe, and you have adequate safety measures in place- for some people that’s using condoms for others it’s safety words, reliable easily reached cutting equipment and first aid kits at the ready, just in case.

I’m confused by arguments that suggest we, as a movement, are fighting for women’s autonomy and agency to be recognized, whilst simultaneously denying women the right to have sex however they please. I CAN understand arguments focusing on women’s co-ercion into sexual behaviours, or women’s socialization into particular sexual roles.  What I can’t understand is why women, who are plainly choosing to engage in sex where they experiment in a number of ways with roles, identities, toys and boundaries are criticized and told they can’t possibly enjoy it, they’ve just been brainwashed.

How does dialogue like this help the movement? How does dialogue like this enable women from a variety of ideological positions to share experiences, beliefs and discussion about sex and women’s sexuality openly and honestly?

To me this standpoint of  agency denial, can be perceived as women hating, as much as, standpoints that suggests that women who freely enjoy sex are worthless or standpoints that suggest women shouldn’t have access to reproductive healthcare becuase they shouldn’t be having sex in the first place.

I would also like to question whether these arguments apply to lesbian/gay relationships. So far all the arguments I’ve read, have been about  heterosexual Dom/sub relationships and BDSM in heterosexual relationships. If a woman is the Dom in her lesbian Dom/sub relationship is that still upholding the Patriarchy? Does women dominating women, or tying women up count as internalized mysogyny? Answers in the comments section please!

I’m hoping this post will mean a discussion springs up. So far I’ve never deleted or modded a genuine comment anyone has made- I’m hoping this can continue. If you do comment (and please do- all viewpoints welcome) then please be mindful of your language and tolerant of the views of others.

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This post is about a pivotal experience in my life-  a visit to Womynspace. I feel its relevant to write this because it changed my perceptions about my attitudes to other women, left wing politics, the legal system, the list could go on. The point is that nearly every week I find myself drawing on the experience.

To rewind…before I started at uni I never thought about feminism. Once or twice when I’d heard the word it was portrayed in a negative light. I myself come from a dysfunctional family and the women in the family had been subjected to cycles of abuse which in turn trickled down to me. I felt the only person I could trust was my father figure and therefore even though I did have female friends, I never really trusted them, they were all out to’ get’ me.

This visit also coincides with the beginnings of a great friendship with Suzi, my first interactions with another very intelligent role model who pointed me in the direction of Womynspace and myself for the first time in my life , truly being out of my comfort zone.

Necessary arrangements had been made, directions gathered, feminist peer grabbed in order to be my comfort blanket and off we went to London . I’d been to London only twice – once on a school trip and once on a jolly with an ex boyfriend. I took the car, I realise now that that was a comfort blanket too- I didn’t know my way around and the car was safe in the fact that I could get into it and drive away should anything untoward happen.

We drove into a rough looking area of London, a police car seemed to follow us in to a side street and observe where we were going. I parked up and we approached the metal  security gate. A woman  appeared unlocking the various padlocks in order for us to gain entry , she chatted whilst we went through the door and as she fortified the the door via a plank slatted against the door.The entry was dark damp and forbidding and the woman starting to show us around. The welding room,the smoking room and then up the stairs.

Once we got to the top of the stair case the atmosphere started to change ,there was some sunlight coming through the windows and I could see artwork on the walls. A photographer was taking pictures and two other women were chatting. We were shown around this tier of the house and the atmosphere was almost church- like, we were offered tea (thank you womynspace for introducing me to rooibos tea)and then sat down to chat.

I for once didn’t have anything to say for myself. Suzi on the other hand starting talking and drawing out the other women’s stories (usually my ‘job’). I felt for once that I really didn’t have anything to contribute and on reflection the way I looked didn’t matter this opportunity to just be `me` had never presented itself and therefore I was at a loss .

We left and got back into the car and Suzi and I didn’t say anything until ten minutes later when we both let out a collective sigh. We both felt peaceful and then talked about the experience.It wasn’t until much later that we realised we’d both had completely different experiences – Suzi had felt comfortable and confident, I felt the opposite.

I wrote the experience up as a feminist reflective essay and thought that would be the ‘end of it’….not so. As time went on and suggestions about space from tutors started to make sense to me I started to figure it out and de-construct what society had socialized me in to thinking. Feminists..bad, squats are only used by druggies and homeless people, the law is always right.

Womynspace taught me that its ok just to ‘be’ rather than ‘doing’, in the respect that we as women are always supposed to be pre-occupying ourselves with caring for other people, caring about what other people think of us and caring if  the sexually preferred gender finds us attractive.The one sentence that sticks in my mind from the experience was a woman saying ‘he doesn’t know anything about me’, that’s the best thing I ever heard in my life. Complete strangers don’t know anything about you. How dare they comment and judge someone they know nothing about?!

Another thing that struck me was the the premise of what space is – whats the difference between a woman’s group hiring a village hall or making use of a near derelict building in order to empower women? Money and the legal system that protects an investment. How much is a derelict building worth? Why shouldn’t it be put to use instead of being left to  crumble until the owner gets the ‘right’ price from a developer?

Womynspace changed and still is changing my perception of the world and society around me. Without it I wouldn`t be writing here, have the strength to show the world who I really am(ok, I’m your basic geek, but there you go) and that the ‘hidden’ shit’ – the issues that are swept under the carpet like the empowerment of women really does matter. Thank you Womynspace .

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Reading through the Guardian today, re- celebrating the fact that America finally has a decent President, a guy who happens to be intelligence and have a social conscience I was struck by something. And that something was the absolute absence of commentary on women’s role in the Obama victory. In all the coverage I read there were TWO mentions of Michelle Obama and ONE mention of the Obama girls- the bulk of the commentary about Michelle was about how journalists couldn’t decide what colour her dress was. The one sentence regarding Sasha and Malia commented again on the colours of the dresses that they and their mother were wearing.

I watched the inauguration on the BBC. I wept a little, listening to the address, booed at Rick Warren and practically danced for joy watching Bush fly off out of public life. But, I noticed something. Of all the commentary on the BBC, there was only one female presenter and she was assigned to the route of the procession and largely redundant in the coverage. None of the guests were female- they were all men, and none of the commentary mentioned any of Michelle’s accomplishments or any of the sacrifices she would be making as her husband became president. Renee wrote a few days ago about the unpaid labour a First Lady performs and yet none of this was mentioned in any of the coverage I’ve seen. The one mention of Michelle’s role in her husbands presidency, was that she would be at the school gates each afternoon to collect Sasha and Malia. Her husbands role as a father was totally written out. It would seem, that, in the eyes of the world now, the Obama children have one active parent and that is their mother. Their father is just, obviously, going to be far too busy doing important manly things to be worrying about the trivialities of raising children. This portrayal annoys the hell out of me, because I’m damned sure that isn’t what the Obama’s think.

This total erasing of the women who are key in Barack’s life astounds me. The world really hasn’t changed that much. Michelle, a talented, intelligent successful woman, with her own career, her own achievements, her own dreams has been wiped out in effect, and reduced to being unpaid housekeeper to the worlds most ppowerful man. Or at least that is what has happened in the eyes of the media. She has ceased to be a dignified human being in her own right and become merely an extension of him.

I was bitterly disappointed. But, the fight for recognition goes on. Maybe one day, POTUS will have a wife who continues her own career, who employs ( at a decent and reasonable wage, let’s not perpetuate the exploitation here people)  someone to carry out the Housekeeping at the White House , and whose achievements are recognised, giving her a public identity of her own in the eyes of the media. Maybe the position of First Lady will change into a meaningful position of political power and social change, instead of being one of sacrifice and expectation. Maybe one day we’ll have a First Gentleman, or a female POTUS and First Lady. I live in hope.

For now, the fight goes on. The war isn’t won, even if the battle was.

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Round up

It’s not often I’ll ever do a round-up post. However, I’m incapacitated with pain from an (actually) pustulent ear infection right now, and despite the fact that I’ve broken out the uber painkillers of doom, there is still green shit pouring out of my ear and I’m still on the verge of screaming in pain. Therefore, instead of writing the thoughtful and provocative piece I had planned on Feminist Marriage, I’m going to be lazy and just highlight a few things which caught my eye and made me thoughtful today.

The first is obvious- in less than 24 hours the world is rid of the sheer hell and devilry of George Dubya Bush and Barack Obama becomes the 44th President of the United States of America. Lauren at Feministe reminds us of why this is just the best damn thing!

This British Feminist would like to wish Mr Obama all the luck in the world. May he live up to his hype and not suddenly become an outrageous sexist the minute his ass hits the chair in the Oval Office. And may we all, be aware of our responsibility to progress and change, and not just leave it up to the guy who gets to have the title. That’s not social change at work people, that’s scapegoating.

Next on the “List of things that made me go Hmmmm” is this report from Cara at Feministe about an anti-choice nurse ‘accidentally’ removing women’s IUD’s and then refusing to give them new ones.  I’m sickened by this story. Sadly, I’m not surprised and I wish I was

I’m very pleased to wish Jessica at Feministing, many congratulations on her engagement, and the sincere best wishes of the FemAcadem team. Whatever your personal feelings about marriage, it is a joyous event in peoples lives.

I’d like to finish the round up by saying a resounding ‘Hells Yeah!’  to the fab Catherine Redfearn of The F Word, who has blogged about the lack of recognition Feminism as a movement receives, despite the large amounts of feminist activism that’s going on.

Right, if you’ll all excuse me I’m going back to lying on the sofa in fast amounts of pain, with half my face out of use!!

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Reading through the Sunday papers today two articles caught my eye.  The first one is an idiotic article regurgitating the same old nonsense about hetero women being attracted to rich men because its part of our genetic code. It was  “backed up” by a quote from a female Lawyer – well she’s a professional so it must be true! Apparently being a rich man gives you the capacity to deliver top notch orgasms which of course next to money are the only things we women require.

But wait… further on it stated that men can pick up how fertile a woman is , and this observation was concluded from watching men tip Lap Dancers. Apparently the more fertile you are the more you get tipped.

My question is do lesbians, transgender, infertile and women with poor partners therefore have really crap sex all the time? That’s what this *ahem* ‘scientific’ led piece suggests.

An excellent article over at  The Guardian points out that employers are more likely to dismiss women first because of the belief that there will be a man around to financially support her. Surely this a massive sign of sexism given that most households need two wages in order to survive? An adjoining article pointed out that just being financially secure does not eliminate the feeling of redundancy and social isolation. In short you can’t buy fulfillment.

The link in my mind is this – according to The Times article we hetero women can take the rough with smooth as long as we get a good orgasm out of it. According to The Guardian we can take the rough with the smooth as long as the goal of personal fulfillment is in sight. Sorry to be a spoilt brat but……….. I want both.

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