discrimination

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Mind the gap

Friday 12th November, 2010 in Accepted Social Situations, caring, Civil Liberties, feminism, gender, Politics by andieberry | No comments

So the headlines blazing across the Sunday Papers was the story of how the Coalition intend to ‘make’ benefit claimants do unpaid work for a specific period or risk losing their benefits. At first glance it seems a good idea, being out work takes it toll on your mental state, so why not do some unpaid work whilst looking ? Firstly, job hunting takes time, the internet searches, the rehashing of the C.V and even the time to travel to employment agencies (as my favourite champagne socialist Polly Toynbee found out and expressed in Hard Work). Secondly,  most people already do unpaid work, its called voluntary work which, if you’re lucky enough not to had to trudge to the dole before, you have to declare as part of your job hunting plan, but you’re not allowed to do ‘too much’ voluntary work nor state that you have made  a fixed time commitment less it stop you from landing a ‘proper’ paid job. So , if the government makes you do unpaid work because you are guilty of  the crime to be out of work in the middle of  double dip recession what gap are you filling? Why! the gap made by public spending cuts, think tank genius! The third sector is awash with recent graduates, the long and short term unemployed already,  so I can only presume that the newly unemployed  (fresh from the spending cuts, low level civil servants , librarians etc) are going to fill the gaping gaps left by the shrinking state. However, there is another kind of unpaid work done by nearly half of the planets population that the Coalition government never mention, a gap that is always filled due to social construction and that is the unpaid domestic labour provided by Women.

According to to a paper commissioned by the UN, the unaccounted economic activities performed by women include:-

  • Cleaning, decoration and maintenance of the dwelling unit
  • Preparation and serving of meals
  • Care, training and instruction of children
  • Care of sick,infirm or old
  • Transportation of the household’.

Sound familiar? All that day to day stuff you do is worth nothing to the government and my argument is that it should be for several reasons. Firstly, these unaccounted activities are presumably unpaid because financial sustenance comes from a partner or the state, which as everyone knows is complete rubbish. Only the elite and upper middle classes can survive on one wage per household.  Single mothers live on a pittance and even when in work often end up hovering just above the poverty line . Secondly we also have to factor in the concept that women’s work is a relic of the industrial revolution,-  the Woman offers emotional and maternal support to the man who ‘is’ the wage slave ( the Women being a non economical unit). This concept is problematic now as Woman in this country have long been visible in the public sphere and now Woman  finds she is a wage slave Herself but but still endures the double burden. This is  nothing compared to our Sisters in developing countries but non-the-less, equal,sexist free Britain? Thirdly even if you don’t have children, Women are socially immersed into ideals of being this caring, nourishing being, via the media (domestic goddess that can whip up a four course meal in 10 minutes,drop everything for your friends, look out for your neighbours). Women have always been the volunteers that filled the gaps left by the state’s policies, the PTA’s that raise money for schools (mostly women), the coffee mornings for charity, Women activists that march and lobby at grassroots level , keeping your eye on that neighbour who you know is taking abuse from their  ’other half’, saying hello and engaging in conversion with an elderly person who you know, probably hasn’t spoken to anyone all day. If I where to categorize our ‘unaccounted economic activities’ as paid work then the list would be this;Nanny,Counselor,Lobbyist,Community worker,Fund-raiser,Chauffeur, PR,Carer, Nutritionist, Personal shopper. All validated, trusted positions,  economically viable but not so if the work is unpaid.If as the DaveCam puts it we are ‘all in this together’ then why is unpaid ‘domestic labour’  economically irrelevant in these days of the Big Society? We fill the gaps!

Did you notice that last week the fire service threatened to strike on bonfire night? The New Statesman posed the question is it an abuse of power? No actually its not, it strikes at the heart of the public’s fear of unsafety. So why is it that Womens strike day this year was largely ignored by the media? Well you know why,Women in the west are still seen as unpaid labour, economically irrelevant, whining when we have so called political rights.If we were were to strike, can you imagine the gap?  This is what I say, mind the gap left by Women, the void is too vast to cross safely, society would as we see it would crumble. Women fill the void left by the shrinking state , unpaid work for women claimants creates a triple burden. Marx once wrote’ We stand on the shoulders of giants’ but that’s rubbish we all stand  on the shoulders of women and society is taught that those strong shoulders are irrelevant because of a chromosome. MIND THE GAP!

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Breastfeeding in Public- Indecent Exposure?

Wednesday 2nd September, 2009 in Accepted Social Situations, Education, feminism, Parenting by Suzi | No comments

So tonight after reading some stuff posted on a friends Facebook wall, I went and had a look at  a Poll on Breastfeeding. The questions asks ‘Do you think women should be forced to cover up when breastfeeding in public?’. I’m was somewhat pleased to see that of eveyone who had answered the poll, 56% said no.  However, what really troubled me was a) the fact that this is even a question that needs asking at all and b) the comments section which was full of glorious examples of mysogyny such as men telling women that breastfeeding in public without covering up was ‘indecent exposure’.

So let’s deal with point a) first- the fact this question even needed to be asked. I’m against the use of the word ‘forced’ in the question. No woman should be ‘forced’ to do anything, especially not when feeding her child. Let’s all just take a moment here to remember that breasts, contrary to popular myth, exist so that women can breastfeed. It is in fact, the primary function of the mammary gland to produce milk in order to nourish infants. I suspect that the reason this question gets asked is because in our modern, western, over sexualised culture we seem to have completely forgotten that  breasts are not sexual objects designed to titillate and pleasure men.

Moving onto point b)- the misogyny in a lot of the comments. There were of course several comments from people pointing out the sheer ridiculousness of expecting Mothers to feed their babies in toilets or  under blankets etc – when Michael Jackson stuck his kids heads under blankets in public we called it child abuse. How  is it suddenly okay when the parent is a Mother who is FEEDING her child? There were several comments from people asking what all the fuss was about, when breastfeeding is a perfectly natural thing. And then there were the comments where people argued that urination is natural, but that doesn’t mean they do it in the street. Here’s the thing- babies need feeding. Babies, when not fed become quite upset. I am fairly certain, the same people who call ‘disgusting’ upon seeing the tiniest hint of flesh in a breastfeeding mother, are the same people who ‘tut’ and mutter ‘ can’t they shut that child up? shocking’ under their breath when confronted with a Mother who is attempting to soothe her hungry child when she is too anxious to feed in public because of people’s reaction.

Also- how do these people think women breastfeed? Having breastfed one baby, bottlefed another (for long and complex reasons),  and in about 6 months time I’ll be breastfeeding a third, I’m desperately trying to work out how on earth anyone is ‘exposing’ themselves enough to warrant being stared at by people in public. It’s not as if one flops one’s breasts onto a table while the child uses a straw or something! Breastfeeding requires a baby to be latched on so closely to the breast in order to suck, that unless you’re feeding over a vest top or topless it’s nigh on impossible to see any flesh. Ifyour an inexperienced breastfeeder, who’s just getting into her routine, then yes you might ‘expose’ a bit of flesh whilst latching on, but seriously ‘indecent exposure’? That’s a bit much really.

It seems to me that there are many things tied up in this question and the attotudes the poll has revealed. Primarily there’s an issue about women and their use of public spaces- these people feel women should not feel comfortable or able to use public spaces to feed their children and that their behaviour and autonomy should be censured for ‘moral’ reasons. Those moral reasons rest on notions of womens bodies and body parts as sexual objects designed to bring pleasure to men, but not to carry out their primary function- that of feeding babies. Then their an issue about ‘forcing’ women to comply with a ‘rule’ which is based on fallacious arguments and a dominant male based oppressive power structure.

I’m not that fussed about how or where women choose to feed their babies. Breastfeeding from many points of view is prefferable to bottlefeeding,  but  for many women it isn’t a practical, medical or cultural option, and  either way it shouldn’t matter. We need to support women and their partners and families to be comfortable with their feeding choices- this means access to breastfeeding cafes, and clinics and lactation consultants. This means access to peer supporters, and proper, accurate information about both breast and bottle feeding.  This means being able to feed your baby in public in any way you damn please without fear of censure or disapproval or abuse.

And it means that as onlookers, as other humans using a public space, we do not judge. We do not comment, becuase whether supportive or not, we are intruding. We do not ‘tut’ or mutter ‘shocking’. We recognize that what we see is not indecent exposure, or bad parenting or shamelessness or a woman flaunting herself. What we see is a child being given it’s meal by it’s caregiver, and that is a perfectly normal, perfectly natural thing.

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Last bastion of sexism in the retail sector?

Thursday 7th May, 2009 in feminism, gender by andieberry | No comments

Ever felt your money wasn`t good enough when you walk in a shop?  Or been completely patronised, ignored or at worst treated like the only customer in the shop because of your sex? If you’re a woman then yes, let’s see if your experiences match mine.
I was in an upmarket pub/restaurant a while ago with Suzi and her partner, Lovely Admin, who is in fact, a dude. We ordered a lovely meal and were served by a waiter, who was sporting a recently received black eye. Incidentally, I mention the black eye because I thought to myself , if one of the waitresses had turned up with a black eye, would she have still been ‘allowed’ to work and to walk around and tell the tale of heroics associated with obtaining said black eye?  Would the reaction of the party of men lapping up this tale of a partner in distress, and the other partner obligingly stepping in to resolve the matter, and,  receiving ‘a good kicking ‘ for their trouble, have been the same if the waiting staff was female. Would they have assumed that a woman could of got into the same kind of scrap and not been the victim? No, I didn’t think so either.
Anyway, overpriced but delicious food was served,  and we argued about the bill as per usual.  Suzi slipped off to the loo and I requested the bill from the waiter. The waiter presented Lovely Admin with the bill – he then explained that I was paying  (well that’s what student loans are for sometimes!)-  and the waiter looked a little embarrassed and then presented me with the bill.
I went to P.C World with the express mission to buy a laptop, I was clued up enough to know exactly what I wanted because I hate to shop, I like to go in, make a purchase and get out. The laptop section was at the rear of the shop, and there was desk close by that seemed to be the ‘consulting desk’ .  Two suited men who had name tags on were discussing some important postmortem comparison notes from the night before, so I decide to just have a look over at the laptops to ‘show’  that I may wish to purchase one. Big mistake.  I saw that several customers, mostly men had decided to use the same tactic as myself,  except for some reason their use of the tactic had worked and said salesmen completely ignored me when I said ‘Hi ,could you help me?’ (apparently men don’t have to say that in shops).

After being ignored for a good ten minutes I decided to go over to one of the salesmen (who wasn’t with a customer) and say “I want to buy a laptop ,this model in fact’”.   I didn’t even get mid sentence as the salesman said ‘I’m just with a customer’ . “What what the hell am I ?”  I said . Obviously some kind of penniless ghost given the lack of service .
I went into an electronics shop (the geeky computer hobby kind of shop) to get a refund on an item that I’d mistakenly bought.  The (by now) inevitable wait to be recognized as a paying customer was remarkably quick as I’d learned that standing at the sales counter just wasn’t going to work, so I looked for the manager. I explained to the manager that I wanted a refund, I needed the next model up and explained (as it was a geeky tech shop) exactly what I did need and what I planned to do with it. The transformation in service was instantaneous; the manger summoned one of the sales staff to get the stuff I needed, transaction done big smiles all around.
Like I said you’ve probably had these kinds of experiences . I could put the first example down to be dressed like a scruffy student, but we were all dressed like scruffy students.
I could put the second experience down to being short with a chameleon like ability to blend into the background, except that, even with wishing to having the chameleon like superpower at times, I don’t.

I could put the third experience down to being an informed consumer who the staff was happy to interact with, except that I had to take steps before I could prove I was a ‘worthy’ customer.
All three experiences were, in my opinion,  down to gender socialised roles.  Men always pay and women don’t know anything about computers . I don’t get that sort of treatment on-line , I know there, that I’m an anonymous consumer and the only time the website requests my gender is to market the ‘pink’  products in their store,  so I avoid it .The only trouble is (call me old fashioned) I actually like to go to the shop, have a good look at the product and compare before I buy. Why should I have to be conscious of my gender when going into a shop and receive inconsistent degrees of service ?

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Why yes, Fat is STILL a Feminist Issue!!

Wednesday 6th May, 2009 in fat acceptance, feminism by Suzi | No comments

So, I’ve just complete a month long stint of guest blogging over on The F Word. I didn’t get to post much- once a week or so, simply .because of my huge time commitments to work, study and family. However, while I was there I wrote a piece I had been meaning to write for a while about Thin Privilege.

Whilst the start of my post is straight up wrong- a valuable lesson for me to learn-, when talking about privilege and oppression, I stand by the points I make about how being fat puts one at a disadvanatge in this world, and how thin people, do have privilege over fat people.

I got an email today from a friend asking me if I had read this piece by Amanata about fat hatred. So I went and read it……… and then had to fight the urge to applaud, loudly, because she says everything I try and say, but does it a million times better.

I recommend you read the piece I wrote at The F Word, and please accept my immediate apologies for the first paragraph or so- I made a mistake, and in doing so said something highly offensive. Bloggers, are humans too.

I also recommend you read this piece written by Anji, from Shut Up, Sit Down, and then read Amanata’s piece. And if you don’t find yourself agreeing, or find yourself thinking  ‘but being thin is hard too….’ then Shut Up, Sit Down, and Learn Something.

Being fat is not easier than being thin. Being thin is a socially acceptable, and desirable thing to be. Being fat is seen as deviant, unattractive, sexually inadequate, and a characteristic of someone who lacks in self control. Being fat means people will criticise your day to day life- if you eat they will tell you it is the wrong thing, if you don’t they will praise you for ‘being good’ (becuase of course being fat, you will also be infantilised. A lot). You will find it difficult to buy clothes that fit- and I don’t mean, difficult to find clothes that fit in a flattering way, I mean find it difficult to buy clothes at all. People will publicly humiliate you, and everywhere you look you will be told you are unnaceptable, unlovable, sub human. You will have to listen to people tell you all about how much of a health risk you are, and how much of a drain you are on NHS resources- despite the fact that smoking causes more disease and costs more of tax payers money a year than obesity, and despite the fact that links between obesity and the things it supposedly causes (like Type 2 diabetes for example) are tenuous at best.

And if you try and complain that you are being discriminated against and oppressed because of your shape/size people will promptly tell you, you are wrong and you don’t know how hard it is to be thin.

Actually, I do know how hard it is to be thin. I have had an active eating disorder for 10 years. I’ve been in a state of recovery for about 18 months. Not living in a state of starvation, and a cycle of purging, alongside several injuries and existing medical conditions means I have put on about 6 stone. I have gone from a dress size 8 to a dress size 18. And at no point in any of that time, have I experienced anything, which has made me glad that I am bigger. At no point has anyone made a single comment that has made me glad that I no longer have a socially acceptable body. And ironically- now I no longer starve myself, and purge, and smoke to try and keep my body weight down, I am significantly healthier than I was when I was thin. I have struggled, and continue to struggle to accept my body as it is, and to accept that fat or no I am still a vibrant, intelligent worthy, sexually attractive human being.

Don’t tell me that Thin Privilege doesn’t exist. If you are thin, you will have the privilege of not being discriminated against and abused daily, based on the completely arbitrary factor of your weight/ body shape. If you are thin, your food choices are less likely to be interrogated, you are more likely to be employed and less likely to be informed by doctors that every medical condition you have, regardless of whether you had it before you gained weight or not, is caused by weight. And you will have to listen to completely ableist crap that equates health with thin-ness and the ability to perform lots of excercise.

Fat is still a feminist issue. It’s even more of a feminist issue now that society has become obsessed with the ‘obesity epidemic’. And it is about time that fat acceptance got to be a part of mainstream feminist discourse, and thin privilege got recognised alongside other privileges.

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On a personal note….

Sunday 5th October, 2008 in feminism, gender, Uncategorized by Suzi | 1 comment

I don’t normally write personal blogposts here on FemAcadem – those tend to go over on my LiveJournal where only my nearest and dearest can see them. This personal post though has elements that could be taken as feminist, although for now I’ll post the explanation and then tomorrow I’ll write an analysis of the feminist elements.

I recently got a new job, working for an organisation that works with the criminal justice system to provide help for people with drug and alcohol problems. Although my post is new, and will mean I have to essentially develop my own service, which will be hard work to achieve what with Uni and all, I’m massively excited about it.

This new job, however, meant I had to go clothes shopping- I have nothing in my wardrobe suitable for wearing in a professional situation. I spend my life in mens t-shirts, the one pair of jeans I own that fit and sports bras for comfort. Fine when running around after my kids, or going to lectures but definately not appropriate for a formal work environment.

I hate clothes shopping. I actually loathe it. I’m a fat girl- my weight tops 90kg, and I don’t even want to think about my BMI. There are a number of reasons why I’m big- 10 years of bulimia and on/off calorie restricting (I spent 2004-late 2007on 500 calories a day, with regular periods of fasting for 3-4 days at a stretch), along with having spent from age 5-14 on a calorie controlled diet means my metabolism is more than a little fucked. Add in the fact I quit smoking in December 07 and  the afore mentioned years of dietary abuse which means my hunger responses are all out of wack and you have a girl who started uni last September a (UK) size 8 and finished in July a (UK) size 18. Pretty much the only thing that hasn’t changed in all that time is my bra size- 36H. For those of you not in the know about bra sizes, that comes under the category OUCH!

I have huge problems finding clothes. When I was skinny, it was just tops that were my problem- they never went over my boobs. Now I have trouble finding tops, and trousers – most clothes manufacturers don’t bother to alter the cut of clothing for larger sizes, they just scale up the measurments and voila- all clothes in all sizes. Problem is- that doesn’t tend to look too good. I have a whole rant there about how the fashion industry discriminates against fat people, but right now I’m trying to be positive. Kinda.

So I go shopping today, dragging Lovely Admin with me for moral support and opinions. I garuntee I can dress anyone you stick in front of me in lovely clothes that will look gorgeous, and that they will feel comfortable in, but I cannot for the life of me dress myself. I try stuff on and it looks gross and I’m inexperienced with the whole ‘feminine’ clothing thing. Mostly I’ve always just worn jeans and t’s or stuff other people have told me to buy.

Oxford has a fairly decent town centre. My first stop is Bravvissimo, for bras that actually fit. No good buying nice office clothes if your underclothes are all wrong, as a good friend and teacher pointed out to me on Thursday. No problems there- 3 shiny new bras in the required size all checked for a good fit by Jen, the lovely fitter. Never underestimate the power of good fitting bra- I encourage all ladies bigger than a D cup to find their local Bravissimo and get a proper fitting- you will be amazed at the difference.

So then we head to my favourite shoe shop- I say favourite- it stocks the knee high stripey sock I am so very fond of.Seeing as most of mine had holes and I’m down to four pairs, I brought some new ones. I also tried to find some decent comfy boots- but this place doesn’t carry an extended range of leg sizes in boots, and I can’t get anything higher than base of my calf muscle. I used to be a long distance runner, which has left me with some big muscles in my legs. A big fashion no no it would seem. If rule number one of easy shopping is have no breasts, rule number two is definitely have no leg muscles.

After that we start the slog round the clothes shops. I had a wardrobe planned in my head- 2-3 pairs of smart jeans/trousers, some vest tops, few nice cardigans, few shirts and a some v necked jumpers. There you have a nice wardrobe of practical but comfy clothes that are smart enough for work but casual enough for uni. The High Street however, had other ideas.

Nothing fit- not in Next, or Dorothy Perkins, both normally ok-ish for bigger sizes. And as for Marks and Spencer who used to be amazingly damn good for bigger sized jeans- do not shop there if you’re bigger than a ten. I couldn’t even get the size 18 trousers over my thighs. And I tried 6 different pairs , in different styles.

Weight is a big thing, if you’ll pardon the pun. Not because it actually matters, but because of how society, especially in these’obesity’ obsessed days views it. Not being able to find nice clothes that not only fit, but fit well and look good is soul destroying. It’s another way of telling fat people they don’t deserve to have any kind of niceness or status. Not only are you so fat you’re destroying society , you’re so fat there’s no way anyone can make nice clothes for you. Shame on you. How dare you be taking up the space inhabited by those deserving thin people who put in the work it takes to be acceptable.

After M&S I just stood in the street and cried on Lovely Admin. Nothing for me brings on a bout of evil self hatred quite as much as trying to find clothes that fit. Clothes shopping is something I do because I have to. I don’t tend to shop to look nice- I do it to look as inoffensive as possible. There was one last place on my list of shops- Monsoon.

Monsoon is a very nice clothes shop. It’s damned expensive -£40 for a cardigan,£20 for a vest top kind of expensive, but it is worth it. I normally end up their as my last resort when I’ve tried everywhere else and I’m searching for a dress. Today it was my last resort for an entire wardrobe, and the end result is I am now refusing to shop anywhere for clothes that isn’t there. The clothes are really nice, and comfy and the sizes are generous- I can feasibly fit between a 16 and 20 depending on the item. And the people are nice. No sneering shop girls who look at you in horror when you ask for a larger size, no being unable to find what you want in your size. They don’t at the moment stock upwards of size 22- but they do have a decent range of goods in those sizes, unlike M&S, who claim to stock to a 24, and then have very little above a size 16.

I ended up spending 2 hours in there trying stuff on, with Hannah, a very nice assistant, who ran round and got stuff for me, and made suggestions and encouraged me to try thing in colours I wouldn’t normally even consider. Which pretty much means she got me into stuff that wasn’t black. I actually enjoyed the experience and I walked out their with two bags of really nice clothes, that I can mix and match and wear for work or uni or going to Magic tourneys or playing with the kids. It was really nice to be somewhere, where there was no judgement on me for being bigger, and where the clothes are well cut, and fit amazingly nicely.

So- if you are in the UK, and you, like me, have trouble with clothes shopping I recommend Monsoon. Go there, and enjoy the experience of wearing clothes. Tomorrow I’m going to write about the way we as a society look at weight and size and clothing and how women are marginalised and discriminated against becuse of those things. But that’s my feel good story of the day.

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